Happy Friday Everyone!
I now have 45 followers! WooHoo!!!! Thanks for following. I really appreciate it.
Yesterday was my one month bandiversary. For those of you who were just banded within the last couple of weeks I can promise you this - it does get better. My incisions are healing well. I no longer wake up in the middle of the night with this odd feeling in my chest like I am going to strangle to death (just me??? OK). I can sleep on my side and/or stomach if I want. And I finally feel like I have energy again.
I also got my first fill this Wedneday. My favorite PA in the whole world, Dawn, did it. The new PA in the office who is still training told me they call Dawn the "port whisperer". I believe it! I swear, I didn't feel a thing. Even when she gave me the numbing solution she said, "little sting here" and I didn't feel it at all. I am hoping I always get her. Apparently, I already had 1CC in my band from surgery (she pulled it out to show me) and then she topped me off with 3 more for a total of 4CCs in my 10CC band. I have to say, I am not feeling much different. Of course, I was on liquids the day of the fill and the day after. I am now on soft food today and tomorrow. So, maybe when I am eating more solid food I will feel a difference. Maybe not. I've read some bloggers who have said that it took them 3 or 4 fills to feel and restriction. I hope that won't be my case but you never know. I have my next fill scheduled for Dec. 1 and then I will get another one probably the last week of December - if I am in town.
I've been thinking a lot lately about my attitude about food and dieting. I've also been keeping up with everyone's blogs every day (yes really. And, if you aren't on my follow list, please send me your blog link and I'll add you too) and many of you say that what you love about the band is that you are no longer "dieting". The band just helps you live your life and eat in moderation. And, even though some of you seem to be struggling right now (with Halloween candy temptations, poor food choices, etc.) everyone seems to have the attitude that they can and will get back on track. And it finally occured to me the other day - I am no longer obsessing about food, about dieting, about how fat I am. I am no longer telling myself what a failure I am every morning that I wake up for not having stayed "on plan" the day before, but that today will be different. I swear, for the last 5 years almost every single morning I would wake up and the first thing I would think about was how I needed to lose weight and how I was going to do it. I was obsessed and felt like a complete loser for not being able to stick with any plan for more than a few weeks. Even when I did get on a roll and stick with something for more than a few weeks, my weight loss would stall and eventually I would give up only to go back to the negative self-talk all over again.
However, since the day I made my appt. for surgery I have not woken up once and thought those thoughts. It is as if I found some peace. I made a decision. I have faith that if I follow my doctor's orders, the weight will come off eventually. I am no longer obsessing. I am learning to live with my nifty new tool; how to eat in a "band appropriate" way; and I've decided that this is what will work for me.
No huge plans for the weekend. I have to go to a birthday party Saturday night for my sister-in-law's 6 year old boy. Sunday I am getting my hair done and thinking about seeing MegaMind at the theater. This will be my second or third movie since being banded and I am still getting used to seeing a movie without popcorn. The nice thing is that I am not craving it too badly. Maybe that is the band at work or maybe I have just psyched myself into thinking that.
Hope everyone has a terrific weekend.