Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Meeting Dr. #1 & Talking to the Husband

So, yesterday I had my first consultation with a doctor - let's call him Dr. #1 - for my lap band surgery.  I had  attended a seminar last week at Dr. #2's office and have a consultation with him on Thursday this week.  It seemed prudent to check out a couple of different doctors to see who I clicked with, what their pre- and post-op procedures were, the pre-surgery diet, post-surgery fills, etc.  Dr. #1 was a very pleasant guy.  His daughter is his practice's psychologist and runs their monthly support group.  He was very knowledgeable and told me - in pretty graphic detail - how he performs the procedure (photos included); how he mitigates the risk for band slips; band erosion; etc.  I am sure that he would do a fine job.  However, I still want to meet with Dr. #2 before I make any decisions about who will do my surgery.

#1 did confirm for me that I am a qualified candidate and that he would do the surgery for me if I wanted him to.  I had been worried about that because my BMI is on the borderline of 35.  I do have sleep apnea and GERD so I was pretty sure I was a candidate, but not entirely.  Now that I am sure somebody will do my surgery, I decided to finally tell my husband I have been researching this and plan to go ahead with the procedure. You see, I expected a lot of resistance from my husband.  A lot of the "all you need is willpower", "this is the easy way out", etc. posturing.  Over the years, I have learned to pick my battles with him and not even start a contentious discussion until I have all my facts in order.  No sense in trying to convince him I plan to do something if I can't actually make it happen, right?  To my amazement, he took it very calmly.  He seemed receptive to the idea and had some questions but in the end he said it was my decision to make.  I was pleasantly surprised.  Perhaps he has actually recognized how difficult my struggle with my weight has been over the years.  He has seen me start, then stop, numerous diets since we have been together.

The first time I met my husband, I was at my second lowest weight in my adult life.  I was fit and trim and felt pretty good.  Shortly before we started dating, I quit smoking.  A year after we started dating, I turned 40.  So, in the space of 1 1/2 years, I quit smoking, fell in love and turned 40.  This was a recipe for weight gain if there ever was one!  Since we have been together, I have managed to regain the 30lbs I lost prior to meeting him, plus an additional 50lbs I've never had before.  At the rate I've been going I could qualify as a linebacker for a pro team in the next five years.  And, while he has never said anything derogatory about my weight, I catch him staring at me sometimes.  And I feel like I must be a huge disappointment.  I don't think I am the girl he thought he was signing up for.  I don't even have childbirth to blame for my weight gain.  I'm humiliated and ashamed.  That is why I plan to do something about it.  At least now I know he will support my decision which makes this journey so much easier.

I'll report my findings on Dr. #2 after I meet him Thursday.  I hope to make a decision about who I plan to go with no later than this weekend.  It's time to get the show on the road!

10 comments:

Christine said...

Happy Blog-warming to you!

Since you know that you ARE going to go through with the surgery, my recommendation is to start keeping a record of "before" items so you can look back on this time a year from now and have a chuckle! For instance, write down what your typical meals are like. Take lots of "before" photos (including ones nude or in your undies) just for your own record! Take measurements of all parts of your body.

Then hunker down and get ready for the band! It's an exciting journey! :-)

Christine
www.phoenixrevolution.net

Libby said...

Christine,

Thanks for the recommendations and the support! I will start doing that. (OK, maybe not the naked pics - I don't even look at myself in the mirror naked anymore) but I do plan on getting before pics for sure.

Thanks again. You have been such an inspiration!

Heather said...

Hi Libby! Christine sent me over to say howdy. I agree with Christine on the before items. I was a low BMI Bandster too, and some days I don't feel like I look too different. Boy when I pull out the pictures (and the measurements)... wow. I am only 3 months out from surgery. I have lost almost 40 lbs including pre-op time. Good luck with the husband conversation. Mine was a bit resistant, but I took him with me to talk to the surgeon and he understood a lot more. I think he was more worried than anything. He looks back now and says that he is glad. He knows I am happier now that I feel better.

Sarah G said...

Hi! Christine sent me. :)

Maggie said...

Hi there, I came over from Christine's blog. I'm really looking forward to reading some more of your thoughts. Good luck on your journey!!

Patrick said...

Christine sent me here. I love blogging with fellow weight loss warriors. Always nice to connect up at the bginning of ones journey too. Christine is a great blogger and great person, and she can connect with you on the band level where I cannot. But band or not, I'll do my best to at least help you enjoy the journey to a better you.

Libby said...

Heather - Wow, you are doing great! It is so nice to hear from someone who has so recently been banded doing so well. I hope I have your kind of results.

Sarah, Maggie and Patrick,
Thank you so much for dropping by. I am looking forward to sharing with you and learning from you.

Shane G. said...

I am not a bandster, so I hope yours isn't a snob blog.. haha. I just like to see people succeed. It looks like I may be getting in on the bottom floor of a journey that I will want to keep up with! Good luck with Doc #2!

Libby said...

Hey Shane,
No snob blog here. I can use all the support I can get.

Gen said...

So funny, I was worried about telling my DH too, but he had absolutely no hesitation in telling me to go for it. Good for you.